Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are reasons you couldn't be a kpop idol?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

NASCAR Saturday schedule at Pocono Raceway - NBC Sports

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Would you date a Muslim guy? Why/why not?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Cave art discovery depicts an animal that went extinct 280-million-years ago, baffling scientists - Earth.com

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What can melt your heart?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

HSBC’s Mark Tucker to return to insurer AIA as chair - Financial Times

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have a reading level above third grade

Xbox finally reveals handheld console after decade of speculation - BBC

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why does everyone hate Anthony Joshua so much? I get that he isn’t the best heavyweight boxer ever but people claim he’s a no skill fighter but he has an Olympic gold medal, a world championship, and beat Klitschko, a dominant force in boxing

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is so great about Jiraiya?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t cotton to rapists